I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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