Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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