it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We had sex on a dog bed..
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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