I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
