And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize