i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
