We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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