So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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