Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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