That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
