bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
