new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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