Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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