Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize