They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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