it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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