the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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