i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
from now on my penis is your penis
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
