Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
