hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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