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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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