Sry I called you an 8
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i believe in u and ur pee
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
