You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize