trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had me at cake vodka
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize