Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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