I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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