i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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