my mouth tastes like poor choices
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
