She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
