I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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