My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
