Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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