If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
