i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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