What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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