I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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