I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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