If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My liver just broke up with me...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize