Buhtt sex?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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