SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
