i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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