Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
