Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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