Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I came so hard my ears popped.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize