my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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