Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize