Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
