I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
