Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
