me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
