Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
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I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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