come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
