And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I supernannyed him into submission
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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