I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize