i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
