we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
