Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
