No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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