goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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